This week's question comes from Monica.. the newest addition to our painful circle. Her question to us all is "Other than having/raising children, what is one thing you can say you have done (or are doing) that will make the world a better place?"
First, I don't think having kids makes the world a better place. I think there is a balance and for the most part we put too much of our pride onto our children. I also believe that not every person will make the world a better place, quite honestly I think very few people have that quest in life. Now.. yes I have seen "It's a Wonderful Life" and I believe and understand the impact one person can have on family and community. I mean lets look at history, whole civilizations have disappeared leaving only traces but no effect on the world as a whole.
So answering this question on much smaller scale.. what do I feel I have done to change my community, I feel I do a lot. I spend most of time doing volunteer work. Between Girl Scouts, PTA, Substitute teaching and yes, even being a mom, I feel I do make a difference locally.
Now, does this make me a better person? No. Sometimes I feel bad that I get to say I spend most of my time volunteering, becuase I know how hard it is to be on the other side and be the working parent, who is doing the best they can to make a difference by putting food on the table and contibuting some type of service.
I am very happy I get to have this option and try to make the most of it because it really is how I "pay" my way. I have a goal to be a good example and make a difference to at least one person. I hope to teach others to try to leave this land that we are only borrowing for our short time, better than we find it. I hope to teach tolerance and that there is no place in life for bigotry. I have done big projects to help change the life's of others, quite a few, I like feeling needed, I like helping others, but I also like being the silent party that orchestrates things and does not need name recognition. So.. am I changing the world? I don't think I am and I am ok with that.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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6 comments:
Our circle is painful? I'm sorry you think so :(
You've been gone from SLC to long! X96, Radio from hell, the call in show they have on Fridays.. they call themselves the painful circle:) I was making fun.
So as a non-breeder, I have to share my opinion. Having children is, at best, a selfish act. Most of the time it is a benign accident, sometimes it is a terrible mistake. It very rarely makes the world a better place.
The world doesn't really need more people (in fact, it would be better off with fewer of us scurrying about) and the odds that anyone is going to raise a person who truly changes the world are miniscule; probably about as likely as raising the next Hitler or Jeff Dahmer.
And raising them to be good human beings is an obligation to the rest of the world-not a gift. Fortunately, the people I know take it that seriously but there are so many that don't. Really, more people should think before they procreate.
I don't think that was what she meant. When you ask someone, particularly a woman, "What's the best thing you've ever done?" she will typically respond with "had my kids." (Sure, the women in this "circle" aren't exactly that kind of woman, but I said "typically.")She included that disclaimer to get a different answer. Sorry, it just feels like both of yours' answers are a bit attacking on the way the question was asked and that kinda hurts my feelings since that's not the spirit of this. While I don't necessarily disagree with the majority of what you say, I just thought I should clarify the question since I feel like ya'll are ganging up on the asker. Geeze :P
That, and do you think mothers like those of Hitler and Dahmer were proud of how they raised their kids? Thought they were raising them well and right and to be good people? Cuz man! What if mine is the next Lizzy Borden????
There was certaily no intestion of ganging up (sorry Monica). Its rare that we toss each other "real" questions that may ruffle feathers. I hope there is no hard feelings, this is obvously something Tor and I agree on and this was a oppurtunity to say something about it.
I'd like to clarify my earlier comment.
The act of having children (meaning the choice/accident of impregnation that results in birth) is a selfish act. Most people choose to have children because they want to "leave a legacy" or "carry on the family name" or "have something to cuddle". All of these are self-serving acts. And while some people's religious beliefs encourage them to populate the planet, science and observation show that the planet doesn't really need more people and the best thing we could do for it is to cut down on the growth.
In contrast, the act of raising children well is definitely not selfish. Once they are here, they require their parents to put themselves second, or millionth, to end up good adults. I KNOW this. I help raise two kids and all the reading, math flash cards, paper editing, science projects, moral and life lessons are a lot of work. Work where the results are not often readily apparent. But as I said in my first comment, it is an obligation to the rest of the world for people that have kids must fulfill. Failure to at least try is irresponsible and reprehensible. Every parent, biological, step, adoptive (which I believe is the ultimate selfless act of parenting) must engage in raising the young people they are responsible for.
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